Reflections:

My stint at LSCW is now over. No longer am I one of the temporary volunteers who are opting to try something different and hoping to be useful; I have risen to the rank of expat, a resident of Phnom Penh. Apparently this is a step-up the social ladder.

Much of my time over the last 7 months has been spent fluctuating between observation and reflection. Yet I am still having difficulty processing the impact I have had on my corner of Cambodia or its impact on me.

Lack of time has meant that I have not been able to send my reasonably regular postcards into the ether. So I have not mentioned my trip to the commercial sex worker villages in Thailand, my weekend away on Kep and Rabbit Island, my invitation to jump aboard a moto with a friendly Khmer guy and his gun, or my dinner with a nobel peace prize winner.

Let's get me out of the way first. I do not think I have changed, this whole experience has simply confirmed what I knew about myself and offered a clarity about my personality traits, both good and bad which is comforting. Oh apart from one thing, I am now relatively comfortable on the back of a moto.

Cambodia itself is too hot, too unhealthy, too poor, too unbearably sad and too full of nasty stripy legged insects. However, it is also unique, full of people who's pasts are blighted and who's futures are so uncertain, yet who remain upbeat in the face of more daily challenges than most people could ever imagine confronting.

At times Phnom Penh feels full of people who rant. They rant about poverty, about how best to deal with beggars, or whether the NGOS and UN should just leave. I can sympathise with this latter view. Having worked for an exclusively Khmer NGO, I absolutely support its value, but I am less certain about the value of a non-Khmer NGO where handsome salaries are paid and perks which way out-strip any need you could have, when their Khmer counterparts are just making ends meet.

Then again, if the natural human disposition is not to downgrade your life, then perhaps the only real way to offer help and entice western aid is to offer first-world dwellers a lifestyle which will allow them to tolerate this difficult environment. After all, Cambodians, typically peaceful, honest and good, resort to acid attacks in the face of their own individual adversity.

I think it's in France that if you watch someone drown you have committed an offence by virtue of your lack of action. How does this apply to developing countries? Is it right to just watch, analyse and do nothing, or better to sacrifice your own comfortable existence to offer some meagre support. Should we just leave the Cambodians to their own devices, or more positively phrased, trust them to be able to resolve their own troubles and sustain their own existence in a way that is in sync with an Asian as opposed to a first-world/western mindset? Is it all doom and gloom?

Unusually I haven't reached a decision about any of these questions. There are so many perspectives and theories to consider which even if absorbed now, would probably need to be reviewed tomorrow, because Cambodia is a changing country. What is certain however is that in the midst of the poverty there is a wealth of hugely interesting people both local and global trying to make the best of things...and in doing so having a lot of fun in a city where the laws stretch like elastic and the door to the city is constantly revolving letting voyeurs, tourists, entrepreneurs and aid workers in and out.

I am now on facebook and regularly upload my pictures for consumption by those interested in Cambodia or me. Take a look if you are bored or interested in coming to the Penh.